do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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