Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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