i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
