Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
