Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
