she woke up with a sticky ear
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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