singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
