i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
