Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
