I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
