You smell like a Billy Joel song
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
