idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
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The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
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I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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