My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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