you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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