Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
