I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Is her dick bigger than yours?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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