i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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