i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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