so that wasnt chicken after all
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
