I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
