I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize