ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
vagina is talking i cant
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
sex in a hospital.. check
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
