mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
