I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
