And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
