i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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