My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
