the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
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Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
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Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick