the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
