i barfeds in our rink
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize