Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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