ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
