it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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