halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize