I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
