oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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