your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
