you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
