So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
