Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The air was thick with penises
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
