I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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