Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
