hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize