It's just like the Real World with babies
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
