I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
