He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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