so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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