Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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