I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
