Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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