sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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