well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
