I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
