y did u give ur computer a hand job?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
from now on my penis is your penis
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
