guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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