Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
